It was freezing today in Seoul. I guess recently; it was below 20F. The feeling is very different from coldness in East Asia, and Midwest in the U.S. if you ever experienced a winter abroad. The wind is much sharper here with higher temperature. Maybe, is it because of the climate difference? Autumn has not passed yet, but the wind made everyone feel much colder. Recently, quite a few people around me were sick and caught a cold.
I think once in a while drinking a ginger tea is a good idea. Hot teas keep you warm, especially in this cold weather.
I would like to talk about the movie, Departures (2008) today. Recently, I watched the movie with my parents. It is a great privilege to watch such a movie with your living parents. That is because people usually avoid ‘death’ as a topic to talk about. And, you dare not to initiate about a dead right in front of your living parents in South Korea, and at least your aging parents, or recently, you have an experience that one of your loved ones passed away.
Past two decades, I foolishly try to avoid the notion of death, but I realized that it would be impossible when you see more and more news of deaths around you as time goes by. Especially, when two of his own patients passed away in one-year setting, it is truly hard to swallow by this novice therapist, the Mr. Happiness. “You really cannot understand how to live without how to die,” the sound keeps resonating every single minute. It is impossible to think a life without a death.
I see understanding is a sign of maturity. You get to grow older and see more things and get understanding that have not made sense at all. In this movie, these two Kobayasi’s emotional interaction is meaningful in this sense. The point of conversing on the whole his emotions both negative and positive by this respectful ritual, bring some sense of healing of emotional pains and wounds by an absence of these two beings.
I used to hate my father and my mother because of their upbringing styles. To me, it was a weird mixture of tough love and semi-unconditional love. I had a good childhood in a sense I still alive in this brutal reality, but in my small and feeble mind, I already thought the things from my parents were not good enough to compare to other parents. For this reason, I felt hatred and rage toward them. For some reason, I was furious about them even if once in a while I felt loved and cared. However, the weight was always leaning in the negative emotions.
Probably, I have lived to prove my parents were wrong for two third of my life, but mostly to my father. However, the much time I spent in environments that I am not familiar with, the more I got some sense of respect; how this old man made such things like that fast in my age.
Now, I do not fully agree with their opinions and values. Nevertherless, I fully respect their values and ideas of a life because I have an understanding of who they are. The realization happened after I experienced the emotions, hate, rage, joy, happiness, disappointment and love around them as I get older.
Old philosophy said, “You might feel their things are not enough, but maybe the not-enough things are their most having things to their children.” And, what kinds of parents born with being perfect parents. It might not always be the best way, but if you follow the right direction, it would not be far from the path on the true love.
In the movie, Mr. Kobayasi realizes that his hatred, rage, shame and guilt toward his father also play a role to be a part of his father’s love. When eventually he got in a sense of his understanding of life of the tie of the solid creatures shared each other of the father-son hood long time ago, it pretty much resonates his heart, and my heart as well.
The movie, Departures (2008) would be a great catalyst to remind of us that good things and bad things are also the part of a journey to our noble purpose. I hope this movie would be a new departure to your life journey.